Full 'Captain America' Trailer Mostly Takes Place in Front of Fire

June 23, 2011


When the U.S. Government discovers that America's greatest patriotbrain lies within the scrawny, asthmatic body of Steve Rogers, they find in the obvious gym-class-wedgie recipient an ideal candidate for their latest tactic in the fight against the Nazis: creating a fit guy, and giving him a buckler. And so, like rich old men creating their perfect trophy wives, the government scientists pump their young blonde full of chemicals until he is traditionally aesthetically appealing--and strong!--thus creating: Captain America, America's fittest guy with a buckler and the nation's greatest weapon in the fight against evil (until someone thought of making a really big bomb).

So begins Captain America: The First Avenger, Joe Johnston's attempt at bringing the long-running comics character to screens in a respectable enough way to create at least a three-film franchise. The rest of film seems to be mostly S&M guys and explosions:

You know, I want to say that it at least looks like a fun and pretty faithful little summer diversion, but when a film replicates an intentionally campy shot from Machete, seemingly with no sort of self-awareness, it really makes me go back and question a lot of things. Let's just say it could be worse.

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