New 'Rise of the Apes' Trailer Has So Much Glaring and Science

June 3, 2011

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After a five film series, a remake, a television show and a cartoon series, finally, a Planet of the Apes film that abandons all the cool advanced ape-based society parts, instead seemingly constructing a film out of 70% laboratory squabbling with James Franco, 20% CGI chimp glaring, and one big apes-on-a-bridge setpiece that will leave you screaming, "Jesus, why don't we just call in the marines and shoot these 150-odd apes before they multiply, put on little robes, and form a civilization over the ruins of the Statue of Liberty (spoiler)?" Why have we done this again?

You know, for a film that boasts--as it did in the first trailer--being "from Weta Digital, the visual effects company for Avatar, some of those CGI apes looked suspiciously like the same CGI apes Discovery Channel uses to teach me about evolution.

Also, I can't believe one guy got to deliver "...stop testing on chimps, ASAP," "that chimp's company property," AND, "put those apes DOWN!" Save something for Lithgow, for god's sake.

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