'Lone Ranger' Costs So Much Due to Native American, Presumably Hunky Werewolves, and More...

August 15, 2011


- Hayley Atwell, Alexa Davalos, and Rosamund Pike seem to be the three actresses up for the female lead in One Shot, the Christopher McQuarrie film that's cast Tom Cruise as a character (Jack Reacher) written as a 6'5", 250-pound dude. According to THR, all three have read for the part, so now it's all going to come down to who does best on Cruise's subway platform stress test.

- If you were wondering why Disney's The Lone Ranger--a film ostensibly about a couple guys riding on horses--was going to cost upwards of $200 million, here's your answer: Native American werewolf CGI. You obviously forgot to take into account that Twilight characters would inexplicably appear in The Lone Ranger.

- Turns out Kevin Smith's film adaptation of Warren Zevon's Hit Somebody is actually going to be two films based on Warren Zevon's Hit Somebody.

- You're going to get a final 16 episodes of Breaking Bad that will finish off the series, after which point Bryan Cranston will explode in a beacon of light and rain down little Cranston cameos in every film we make for the next decade.

- Jean-Claude Van Damme has agreed to play a retired military advisor in the British sci-fi film UFO, and I'm just going to say right now that isn't going to be a very good film. Do retired military advisors even spin kick things?

- Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark star Reeve Carney will star as Jeff Buckley in a still-untitled authorized (because there's also an authorized one that will star a Gossip Girl guy) biopic on the musician. So Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark will probably kill him soon, just to be an asshole like that.

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