50 Cent Given Another Starring Vehicle in Which To Do Acting

October 5, 2011

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Looking at the movies of 50 Cent--from his directorial debut, Before I Self Destruct, to Setup, to the movie about 50 Cent's Doug E. Doug wig falling off because of football cancer, to Gun (the movie about 50 Cent having multiple guns)--it quickly becomes apparent that we should stop making 50 Cent the central star of movies. Like his Right Guard Pure 50 RGX Body Spray, a little peripheral spritz of 50 Cent can occasionally work out, but never a prolonged exposure.

Unfortunately, the executives at Emmett / Furla Films (who produced 50 Cent classics Gun and Righteous Kill) and Cheetah Vision Films (co-run by 50 and led by his speedy, cheetah-like vision) still strongly believe in a full-on assault of 50 Cent acting, and are building another action-thriller for the Vitamin Water spokesman to star in. Titled The Pursuit, presumably named after 50's unending quest for Oscar, the film is to be directed by Gun's Jessy Terrero, and tells the story of a cop and criminal reluctantly teaming up to chase down a bank robber before a U.S. Marshal beats them to their target. In the end, it's probably going to turn out 50 Cent was all four characters, and had been teaming up with no one to beat himself to finding himself, but sadly, you will never know that, because you will add this film to your Netflix queue with a chuckle, forget about it for six months, and finally fall asleep to it on a lonely Friday night, never to revisit it again.

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