From Now On, Lars Von Trier Will Let His Fists Do the Talking

October 5, 2011

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Starting at Cannes and still continuing as recently as late September, Lars von Trier seemingly exchanged his film career for a controversial but prolific career saying stupid shit about Nazis. Since May, the director has said he sympathizes with Hitler, is a Nazi, isn't a Nazi, is sorry, is not sorry, and is a freak but is not Mel Gibson, and all the while everyone--but especially Kirsten Dunst--has just been thinking, "Fine, it was a misunderstanding, Lars, now would you please shut up and make Dogville 2 or something?" Well, he's finally going to shut up, and it only took a police investigation to make it happen.

After being questioned by police earlier today in regards to if his statements may have violated French law against justifying war crimes, von Trier released the following statement--supposedly his last ever, thus ending his run of hilarious but unappreciated Nazi gags:

Today at 2 pm I was questioned by the Police of North Zealand in connection with charges made by the prosecution of Grasse in France from August 2011 regarding a possible violation of prohibition in French law against justification of war crimes. The investigation covers comments made during the press conference in Cannes in May 2011. Due to these serious accusations I have realized that I do not possess the skills to express myself unequivocally and I have therefore decided from this day forth to refrain from all public statements and interviews.

And so, the once-vocal man and maker of highly-polarizing films shuts himself off in a metaphorical bunker, forever silencing himself. I get it, Lars.

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