Never Mind About Qwikster, Says Increasingly Apologetic Netflix

October 10, 2011


Alright, everyone, you can delete your Qwikster bookmarks. That isn't happening anymore.

Noting that "It is clear that for many of our members two websites would make things more difficult"--because, before the public outcry, it was somehow unclear that two disconnected websites would be more of a hassle than one--Netflix CEO Reed Hastings has bent to the will of the people and reversed his decision to spin off his company's DVD rental service into a separate division given the catchy name of "Qwikster."

Hastings announced the separation in September in an apologetic letter that tearfully explained he had "messed up," adding that Netflix and Qwikster needed "to let each [other] grow and operate independently," babe. The public responded with shock and vocal outrage--as no one saw this coming, and the two used to be so good together--and the CEO today, less than a month later, admitted his mistake and took back DVD rentals--which were all too happy to be back, having lost almost all their friends in the divorce. And so, this weekend, mail-order and streaming remarried in a simple ceremony that included re-directing all traffic from over to, the former once again taking on the latter's name.

July's similarly-unpopular price increase, unfortunately, is here to stay, and it remains unclear how the previously-announced decision to integrate video game rentals into the mail-order service will be handled--though, if history is any indication, it will probably be handled in the least tactful, most inconvenient, difficult way possible. A new service called "Gaimster" that requires you to remember your MySpace password to sign up for?

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