Real Steel director Shawn Levy has proven time and time again that with just a wish upon a star, and maybe a few million in CGI, he's able to bring toys to life--whether it be for those toys to punch each other or to chase Ben Stiller around a cultural site. As such, the modern-day Geppetto has decided he might like to tell the story of actual Geppetto, and so 20th Century Fox has purchased for him The Three Misfortunes of Geppetto, a spec script written by Michael Vukadinovich. Set up as a prequel to Pinocchio, the film looks back at the life of Geppetto before magic star power granted him the wooden son he always wanted, back when he presumably had three terrible things happen to him, the lesson being that nobody gets a little white kid for free. The script's sweeping, whimsical take on the material is being compared to Big Fish The Princess Bride in style, and to two other Pinocchio films in the sense that it is a desperate attempt to wring a few more films out a fairy tale about a living marionette. But, at least this one is such an obtuse, arbitrary storybook adaptation that it's nearly unrecognizable as such. That's almost like originality!