Beloved actor, companion, and shit-thrower Cheetah the Chimpanzee reportedly died on Saturday after suffering kidney failure a week prior. He was 80-ish, which is apparently pretty old for a chimp.
Cheetah was the simian co-star of the Tarzan films of the '30s and had since retired to Florida's Suncoast Primate Sanctuary, whose website has now collected such fond farewells as: "God bless you Cheetah. Now you and Tarzan are together again," presuming chimpanzees and ape-men go to the same afterlife.
The sanctuary's outreach director, Debbie Cobb, lovingly described Cheetah like someone's great-aunt, calling him "an outgoing chimp who loved finger painting and watching football and who was soothed by Christian music." She went on to call screen chimp "very compassionate" and "[not] a chimp that caused a lot of problems," seemingly speaking directly against volunteer Ron Priest's claim Cheetah "would pick up some poop and throw it at [anyone or anything he didn't like]. He could get you at 30 feet with bars in between."
Priest also claimed that Cheetah is not believed to be survived by any children. But you know these Hollywood types.