'The Avengers' Will Be Avenging in 3D

December 22, 2011

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Promising a more tangible distance between awesome explosions and the delicate archway of Scarlett Johansson's parted thighs, Disney has announced that the May 4th release of The Avengers will be presented in 3D as well as boring old 2D. Because apparently it wasn't going to be in 3D before? I'd just assumed. Anyway, now it will be, and when Hulk smashes, smashy bits will fill the theater once they have been converted to 3D smashy bits in post.

Disney also noted that another Marvel film will be released April 4, 2014, though the studio declined to give any further information on the title. Could it be Edgar Wright's long-awaited Ant-Man movie? The once-mentioned Doctor Strange movie? A Moon Knight movie for the fuck of it? If I'm not told either way, I'm just going to assume it's a Moon Knight movie. Oh no, is it a Longshot movie? Why are you making this 3D Longshot movie I know you're making!?

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