Mattel Making 'Back to the Future II' Hover Boards, Which Will Not Hover, Will Make Several Whooshes

February 13, 2012

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First Nike produced a non-self-tying run of their famous, self-tying Back to the Future II sneakers; now Mattel is getting in on the business of selling futuristic items that will possess none of their promised utility. The toy company has announced it will be manufacturing a limited number of special edition, 1:1 scale Back to the Future hover boards to ship in time for Christmas, with a pre-order beginning next month. Bad news, though: they will probably be super expensive, as Mattel themselves describe the board as "a high-cost item." The truest divide between the rich and the poor shall be the six-inch cushion of air below the neon plastic planks of the ruling class.

Bad news 2: as you may have already gathered, no one is going to be doing any actual hovering on their hover boards. It turns out Mattel's scientists only have the technology to the level of "multiple whooshing sounds and will glide over most surfaces," which is basically the level of socks on linoleum. The future has let us down again.

Here's the official release (via!):

Back to the Future Hover Board: Finally! This totally awesome 1:1 replica of the hover board from the BTTF 2 and BTTF 3 films includes multiple whooshing sounds and will glide over most surfaces (does not actually "hover" - check back in 2015 for that feature). We'll be taking orders for it March 1 - March 20, 2012, and the final product will be shipped around November/December 2012. Because this is such a high-cost item, there will be a minimum number of orders required to go into production. If we don't receive the minimum orders, won't go into production and customers will not be charged. The price will be announced later this month. (Note: Hover board does not work on water.)

If you want to be one of the lucky few futuristically sliding around on most surfaces, letting loose a boastful potpourri of whooshes, keep an eye on MattyCollector starting next month.

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