'Avon Man' Gets New Lead But It Doesn't Matter Because Any Man Selling Avon Is Automatically Funny

April 20, 2012


Mark Wahlberg is reportedly in talks to replace Hugh Jackman in Avon Man, the 20th Century Fox comedy set to tear down gender barriers by casting a man as a skincare salesman that LOL a boy is selling Avon and that's a girl's job, silly!

Wahlberg will play a manly guy who works at a car dealership and, were he not in a film called Avon Man, would certainly not be the type you would suspect to become an Avon man. EXCEPT: HE DOES.

Laid off from his job and eager for his film to make some kind of statement about the economy, Wahlberg's desperation leads him to take a job as an Avon salesman, where he uses his Wahlberg charms and defined abdominals to boost sales and become his area's top rep. Wahlberg's character also "tries to save his town and help his struggling family by pulling in his macho unemployed pals to hawk beauty products so they can win a regional contest." Because as the screenwriters of Avon Man insist, the more Avon men, the funnier! Also, Avon sales contests sometimes save towns, if you didn't know. Sometimes, when an Avon sales rep does well enough, President Avon decrees, "Well, even though you are a man, and that is highly unusual and hilarious, you and your unemployed macho friends did sell the most Avon products in a specific region, so, as promised, we will save your town from that greedy oil tycoon or whatever." Please accept that concept, or the Avon Man script is going to need some pretty heavy rewrites.

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