Rob Schneider Starring in Movie, Will Not Play Prostitute Nor Man Made of Animal Parts

April 5, 2012

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He captured America's attention with exclamation points, and now the star of CBS's ¡Rob! is ready to take the spotlight, out from under the protection of the wigs the Happy Madison costume department typically provide him. With the same pioneering spirit with which Deuce Bigalow traversed the Atlantic, Rob Schneider is again striking out on his own with the lead in a new comedy.

Deadline reports Schneider will star in the Gale Anne Hurd-produced Teach Me To Dance, a film in which Schneider's character will request that someone teaches him to dance. The script, from Marion Douglas and Schneider bride Patricia Azarcoya Schneider, manages to stretch the chorus of The Contours' "Do You Love Me?" into a feature-length film, in which Schneider nefariously "schemes to win back his ex-girlfriend by learning how to dance." Because I guess paying for dance classes counts as a wacky scheme when you're using up all your zaniest, most-contrived schemes on a CBS sitcom.

The report has now further details on the story, but if Schneider's teacher ends up being an unreasonably-attractive hispanic woman whose seductive salsa moves make him forget all about his ex, then I'm very disappointed in you, ¡Rob!

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