New 'Bourne Legacy' Trailer Still Can't Stop Thinking About Matt Damon

May 31, 2012

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Matt Damon may have departed the Bourne franchise, but he is not forgotten. He is truly, excruciatingly not forgotten. In this new, two-and-a-half-minute trailer for Bourne Legacy, Jason Bourne is shown in a still photo (you must not have to pay Damon royalties for that), said to be alive and well in Manhattan, and is otherwise mentioned about every five seconds--usually to remind us that JASON BOURNE ISN'T THE ONLY BOURNE GUY OUT THERE. There's also Jeremy Renner, you guys, and I've been repeatedly assured he is way better than Bourne, so just forget about that guy, except when he's brought up over and over, okay? This trailer is basically your drunk friend spending the entire night assuring you how much he's over his ex-girlfriend. But methinks the new Edward Norton character doth protest too much...

Well done, everyone. That does indeed look like a Bourne movie, without Bourne. And sometimes like Knight & Day, without tripods?

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