Mythbusters Investigate 'Titanic', Find Rose Guilty of Negligent Homicide

October 9, 2012


Having already answered to Neil deGrasse Tyson inquiry into Titanic's astronomical errors, James Cameron turned to the Mythbusters team to figure out his film's arguably more-pertinent scientific question: could DiCaprio have fit on the plank alongside Kate Winslet, and thus not froze to death? Because it kind of looks like he could have. Their findings? Rose is basically a board-hogging murderer who should hate herself forever.

Sort of, at least. As you'll see below--and as Cameron asserted in the past--the issue with putting two people on a single scrap of wood has less to do with space than buoyancy, with the increased weight of an extra body forcing the plank too far below the water to be very effective. But what the Mythbusters found was that if Rose were a little more scientifically-minded, and less of a terrible person willing to watch a Growing Pains star and love of her life freeze to death inches from her fucking face, she could have taken off her life jacket and used it to buoy up the wood, making it possible for Jack and Rose to both survive long enough to realize that their class disparity and radically different upbringings lead to a lot of petty arguing once they're not on a cruise ship. Of course, as Cameron also rightly notes, SHUT UP, IT'S A MOVIE, but anyway. Now our hearts can go on to some other quibbles about the iceberg or something.

Hopefully Cameron and Mythbusters will continue this line of questioning, because I'd really like a definitive answer to whether or not tossing that necklace into the ocean was a huge bitch move. Couldn't you just toss Paxton a bone on that one, you selfish murderer?


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