Now that we've all had a chance to look through the Academy Award nominations in all their importance, time to go over the big snubs and surprises that made us say, "Oh my! I thought this person would or would not have a chance to win a statue, but it turns out the opposite is true!"
Best Picture: There was talk Skyfall could manage a nomination. There was hope some beautiful, auteur-driven films like The Master or Moonrise Kingdom might get their due recognition. Alas, the Academy decided to keep its potential ten nominations down to lean nine, so those films will not get the chance to lose to Lincoln.
Best Actress: Marion Cotillard has been heavily praised for her dramatic performance in Rust and Bone, which already got her a Golden Globe nod, but it seems the actress won't be vying for her second Oscar this year. The Academy apparently has a strong, unforgiving memory of her Dark Knight Rises death scene.
Best Actor: Remember back when we sort of thought Anthony Hopkins' extended Hitchcock impression might be something? That sure didn't pan out, huh?
Best Supporting Actor: Despite supplying Django Unchained an overabundance of acting, Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't get a nod for all that cartoonish villainy.
Best Director: Inarguably the most surprising category this year, Kathryn Bigelow, Ben Affleck, Tom Hooper, and Quentin Tarantino all somehow miss what seemed like, in decreasing order, pretty likely nominations. Tyler Perry's strategy of flooding 2012 with two directorial efforts also did not pay off.
Best Foreign Language Film: The French feel-good movie The Intouchables was one of the biggest foreign films of the year, and probably about the only one besides Amour that most people even heard of. But in a triumph for not feeling good, that thing is not getting an Oscar.
Best Costume Design: I guess it makes sense that if Mirror Mirror is going to get any recognition at all, it would be here, but still. And Lincoln? The Academy is just going to overlook the period inauthenticity of the President's dad jeans?
Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Hitchcock? Best Melting Anthony Hopkins Weeble, sure, but not Best Makeup.
Best Production Design: Wes Anderson and his team once again invented an entire carefully-crafted, slightly-askew world for his characters to inhabit. And the Academy responded with, "Yeah, but did you see how old-fashioney all that stuff in Lincoln looked?"
Beasts of the Southern Wild: Who would have thought it would manage nominations for Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Actress against all the bigger-name competition? I would not have thought this!
The Master: While Paul Thomas Anderson's cast got the recognition it rightfully deserved, it's a real shame the cinematography and score went overlooked. Did the Academy not see the beauty, hear the tension, in that handjob scene?
Best Sound Mixing: SUCH BULLSHIT.
Anything else surprise you guys, in as much as an increasingly-irrelevant awards body's decisions can ever be surprising?