America-Hating ABC To Imagine US Lost the Revolutionary War

September 13, 2013


The American Broadcasting Company has revealed plans to betray itself and all of God's Americans, blasphemously imagining an America with neither an Independence Day nor, consequently, Independence Day, with the drama series The Thirteen. Deadline brings news that the network is developing a new show set in the modern era but with the original thirteen colonies still under British rule. In this world, the Revolutionary War was lost but even now, in 2013, battles still rage to be independent of panel shows, to have the liberty to develop Truck Nutz, to have the freedom to cruise around Walmart in an electric scooter, and so on. It's not yet clear if this was already the plot to an episode of Star Trek, where Kirk and the crew landed on a planet that somehow had an alternate history like this, but it sure seems like it must've been, right?

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