Lea Thompson To Be Left Behind with Nicolas Cage

September 10, 2013


As laid out in Leviticus 18:23, "neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion," and lo, Lea Thompson shall be punished for her crimes against God when "we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air" (Thessalonians 4:17), remaining on the Earthly plane with the sinners. In other words, the woman who once shared a bed with Howard the Duck is joining Nicolas Cage, Ashley Tisdale, Chad Michael Murray, and Jordin Sparks in that Left Behind remake that just keeps getting stranger as it strays from Kirk Cameron's Word. Thompson will reportedly play Cage's shockingly age-appropriate wife, who "warns her family of the coming apocalypse but ultimately ends up pushing them even further away." Because if there's one thing Nicolas Cage hates more than being stranded on Earth while the devoted ascend to Heaven, it's his spouse nagging him about accepting Christ before the coming rapture.

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