'Sharknado 2' To Include Similarly-Unlikely Cloud of Stars

February 13, 2014


Mark McGrath, Andy Dick, Kelly Osbourne, Judah Friedlander, Vivica A. Fox, and Judd Hirsch are joining Tara Reid and Ian Ziering in a swirling mass that would normally only plow through a reality show. They've all reportedly climbed on to the bottom shelf of SyFy's Sharknado sequel, Sharknado 2: The Second One. Because you are so invested in the various non-shark characters in this franchise, I will now explain to you who each insistent celebrity is playing.

Fox, reuniting with Hirsch for a somehow stupider disaster than Independence Day, will play returning star Ziering's old high school friend. Hirsch, somehow still getting typecast from Taxi, will meanwhile play a cab driver named Ben. Friedlander is playing Brian, an un-described man one can only assume will be characterized largely through his collection of amusing trucker hats. Osbourne will play a flight attendant; despite his professed desire to fly, McGrath won't be up there with her. He's playing Ziering's brother-in-law, while Dick will make a shark tornado film that much more outlandish by playing an officer of the law. It's like no one is even taking this seriously.

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