As we sit here, cognizant but ultimately powerless to do anything about, Terminator, Rambo, and Basic Instinct executive producer Mario Kassar is orchestrating the pain that will be an English-language remake of Audition. Deadline reports that director Richard Gray is already attached to the project, and he's written a new script based on the same Ryu Murakami novel that inspired the cult classic 1999 Takashi Miike film of the same name. The plot still concerns a widower who, at the advisement of a film producer, sets up fake auditions to find a new spouse. As anyone who's seen the original knows, the plan backfires in horrible ways that make it painfully hard for the audience to even look at the screen. But it sure does make for an on-the-nose analogue for this remake, huh?