Hercules: he just wants to be a husband and father! Or so says our extremely pedestrian demigod Dwayne Johnson in the new trailer for his upcoming film. That would be a very boring movie, though, so director Brett Ratner does not allow Dwayne Hercules to live out his dreams of family life. Instead, he makes Dwayne Hercules slog through the many trite labours of a tentpole sword-and-sandals picture. Among them: screaming a pithy battle cry; a woman sensually rising from a bath; a wave of arrows rising over the camera; an outstretched hand delicately grazing across a field of wheat; and unevenly convincing CGI. Dwayne Hercules will punch through all these many things. And he'll punch them straight at the camera, because this effer is very 3D.