As was reported last month, Keanu Reeves is working on a new series in which he'll play an assassin named John Rain. But one doesn't just jump into the weekly task of playing a cool hitman named John [monosyllabic noun] without testing the icy-stare waters, so before Rain hits screens, we've first got to get through John Wick.
Expectedly, the film sees Reeves in the title role, playing a former killer with a totally sweet ride and a totally cute puppy. One day, while gassing up the sweet ride, Theon Greyjoy comes up and asks to buy it from him. "She's not for sale," John Wick replies. It is signature Wick.
But Greyjoy does not recognize nor respect Wick's pith. He and his thug buddies break into the Wick home, steal the car, beat up our hero, and worst of all, kill the puppy. Boy, was that ever a mistake, guys! As Wick explains in gravely serious voiceover, "That dog was a final gift from my dying wife." Oh, shit, Theon. You're about to lose your dick again. WICK STYLE.