'Honey Boo Boo' Canceled After Addition of Child Molester Character

October 24, 2014

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We may never know what would compel someone to put Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on the air, but we do now know what would compel them to finally take it off: a child molester.

TLC has announced that, after four seasons, their hit, hard-to-watch Toddlers & Tiaras spin-off has been canceled following news that awful matriarch "Mama" June is endangering her child with a markedly more terrible decision than usual--dating a man who just got out of jail after being convicted of forcing oral sex on an eight-year-old relative of June's. In getting her show canceled, June Shannon has, if nothing else, come up with the definitive answer to "what's grosser than gross?"

Explaining why they didn't want to be accessory to an impending crime, the network said in a statement, "TLC has canceled the series Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and ended all activities around the series, effective immediately. Supporting the health and welfare of these remarkable children is our only priority. TLC is faithfully committed to the children's ongoing comfort and well-being." TLC may treat children like cookie-scented air freshener--something you fill a trashy home with so you can feasibly show it to people--but they are not in the business of televising child molesters. At least not until they've prepped the graphics for So I'm Dating a Child Molester.

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