'Road House' Now the Most Awesome Part of NYPD Training

February 24, 2015

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Following a now-infamous incident in which a man was killed after being placed in a chokehold, NYPD officers are reportedly being told to follow the protocol of a man who tore out a human throat with his bare hand.

The news comes from the New York Post, where it's said that a speech from 1989's Road House has now become part of a mandatory, three-day retraining course being given to twenty-two thousand New York cops. De Blasio is at last making good on his promise to bring this great city all the best clips from enjoyably cheesy B-movies.

The scene in question sees star Patrick Swayze, playing a "cooler" named Dalton, delivering a three-point code of conduct to a group of bouncers--the police officers of drunk people, beside the actual police.

Point one: Never underestimate your opponent. Point two: Take it outside; never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And point three: Be nice.

Since the first point has not really been such an issue in these taser-and-firearm-happy days, and the second is hardly applicable to non-bouncers, it's the third that is apparently being stressed, an NYPD instructor reiterating, "You have to have a thick skin."

Here's the video being shown:

Yet, despite Swayze's really cool delivery, some officers are still not taking seriously the wisdom of a character who also erroneously claimed "pain don't hurt."

"It's just ridiculous, the stuff they're showing us. It's crazy," a cop told the Post, speaking of the film's ludicrous suggestion to be a calm and cordial law enforcer. "They're showing us something from a movie and they want us to act like that in real life. It's not realistic -- its Hollywood."

Is it any wonder no one these days trusts the police (to handle a monster truck crashing through a car dealership)?

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