'Fifty Shades of Grey' Duped You with CGI Pubes

March 6, 2015


Further demonstrating the shift from practical effects--like the immersive merkin of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo--to impersonal CGI, director of photography Seamus McGarvey has revealed that the pubes in Fifty Shades of Grey were nothing but short and curly pixels.

Speaking to The New York Times (via), McGarvey explained how they went about shooting the sex scenes of the recent erotic adaptation, noting that, "Jamie [Dornan] had a cover over his penis. Dakota [Johnson] had kind of a patch that went over her pubic area, and right round her whole body."

Thus, with the actors showing such modesty, McGarvey and his team of pube artists "were in the curious situation, in postproduction, of adding [pubic hair]," the cinematographer explained. Everything you thought you knew about Dakota Johnson's waxing routine is a lie. Not to mention what this might mean for McGarvey's perhaps unnoticed work on The Avengers.

In related news, that lady who masturbated during Fifty Shades of Grey screening now seems that much sadder.

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