Though Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 has failed to live up to the woefully low critical standards and woefully high box office standards of the first film, Kevin James is nonetheless stepping back into the role of some boob who literally stumbles into dangerous criminal activity he'll somehow foil. According to Deadline, James is now attached to star in The True Memoirs of an International Assassin, a comedy that will ask you to accept James as an extremely convincing author. Kick-Ass 2's Jeff Wadlow will direct the film, which will see James play a writer that gets entangled in an assassination plot in Belize when his titular novel is mistaken for nonfiction--much like when so many of us believed "King of Queens" to be an actual title. But as is said, "Fool me once, Kevin James, shame on me. Fool me twice, I guess I'll go check out this second Paul Blart film."