'Kindergarten Cop' Remake To Exclude Arnold, Toss in Indian Sidekick and Flash Drive

June 12, 2015

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In what would be the most vexing Schwarzenegger follow-up film news were the plots of Terminator: Genisys and a Twins sequel not already so daunting, Showbiz411 reports that a remake of Kindergarten Cop is in the works.

Universal's 1440 division--responsible for such sequels you've never heard about as Tremors 5: Bloodline, Curious George 3: Back to the Jungle, The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power, and Beethoven's Treasure Tail--is handling the project, so as you can imagine, Arnold Schwarzenegger is not heading back for "The New Class" or anything. And it seem that, unlike with Jingle All the Way 2, Larry the Cable Guy will not be sought as a replacement Arnold, either.

Though the entire joke of Kindergarten Cop was that Arnold was a burly, Austrian, near-sociopath, our new pre-elementary officer will be "a leading man type." Finally, a handsome gentleman than can suavely, rationally explain that he doesn't have a tumor. Also, now he'll have "an Indian sidekick named Sanjit." Sure! And, one more thing: instead of trying to find a criminal father, now KinCop--as we call him--is apparently "on the trail of a missing flash drive." Because while this is being updated, it's apparently only being updated to, like... 2009-ish.

Slackers and American Pie Presents: The Book of Love writer David H. Steinberg has completed a script, and it will be directed by Don Michael Paul, writer-director of Who's Your Caddy?

How oddly appropriate...

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