Accomplishing what seemed impossible, Peter Jackson is going to woefully prolong The Hobbit even more somehow. According to Far Away Entertainment (via), all three films Jackson stretched The Hobbit across will return to theaters this fall, to be drawn out over three nights beginning on Monday, October 5. But this won't be the Hobbit trilogy you've seen in theaters before. No, this time, it will, unbelievably, be an even longer, more trying experience: these will be the extended editions of the films, and they'll be further padded with a never-before-seen introduction from the director. Also, at the end, you'll find that you've been strapped to your seats, and you'll be forced to watch Orlando Bloom in Elizabethtown too. Tickets to come.