New Nicholas Sparks Movie Looks Like Nicholas Sparks Movie

October 2, 2015


The latest adaptation of maudlin schlock-master Nicholas Sparks, The Choice is, unsurprisingly, another tale of attractive white people kissing and occasionally sitting along a reedy beach. This one sees Abraham Lincoln (Vampire Hunter) and Warm Bodies' Teresa Palmer falling in love after she moves in next door and his dog gets her dog pregnant. In this world, having sex with the owner of whatever dog your dog fucked is how their Tinder works.

There's an issue with this dog-arranged romance, though: this woman that looks like a doll is already betrothed to another! She's dating Smallville's Tom Welling, who is now unrecognizably oafish. He looks like this now. Everyone who went to college had a class with this guy.

Sounds like someone's going to have to make a CHOICE, eh? Predictably, what she chooses is driving off, getting in a car accident and tragically falling into a coma. Classic Sparks.

Here's the trailer:

See, when he says she "bothers" him, what he really means is that she sends him into a violent sexual rage.

Read More: movie, the choice, trailer
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