Unable to resist the siren song of robotic dins, scraping metal, and explosions, Michael Bay is going to direct yet another fucking Transformers movie.
Though, back in September, Bay went out of his way to clarify that he was not committed to make another one of those goddammers, in a lengthy interview with Rolling Stone, the director has now updated his position:
Right now, in addition to 13 Hours, he's doing post-production on the next Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which he's producing and which is due in 2016, and pre-production for the next Transformers, which he's directing for summer 2017. "I'm doing Transformers ... 5, is it?" Bay says, temporarily losing track. He shakes his head. "I've taken on a lot of work."
Also loosely confirmed in the interview: that, like with Spielberg and Poltergeist, Bay might as well get a co-director credit for how deep he's got his big green robot arm shoved in the Ninja Turtles franchise.
Not that it's much of a surprise. When the trailer for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows was released, we remarked that "the sequel is, much like the redesigned Leonardo, a swollen monster, distended with Bay's Transformers hallmarks to the point of inevitable explosion. Muddled spaceships bring skyscrapers crumbling down, cars are blown up in fiery blasts, vehicle parts and CGI '80s toys flip through the air in equal measure, and Megan Fox is brought to an almost comic level of eye candy for teenage boys."
Now, Rolling Stone adds that Bay has been the one overseeing the film's post-production effects, writing:
[The visual-effects supervisor] shows Bay the latest version of Krang, a new-to-the-movies villain who is, essentially, a disembodied brain inside a giant robot. "So we've eliminated the tentacles," Helman explains. "Is it too monster-ish?"
"He could have some tentacles," says Bay. "I just don't want them coming out of the side. He looks like a stupid octopus."
They show him a clip of two other new characters, a mutant warthog and a mutant rhinoceros named Bebop and Rocksteady. "You gotta adjust that mass," Bay says. "That mass is not too good yet." He watches a few more times. "Is our rhino dude's head big enough, do you think?"
Bay later added:
"You saw bad stuff today. Bad stuff. That Ninja Turtles stuff has a long way to go." He's quiet for a second. "But I guarantee you that that rhino's head is too small."
It just goes to show that, mutant rhinoceros heads inclued, truly there's nothing Michael Bay won't forcefully make as stupidly large-scale as possible.