So Let's Talk About Those Academy Awards Nominations...

January 14, 2016

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Well, the nominations for the 88th Academy Awards have been announced, and now that we've seen them, it's time to once again overanalyze them until we're confident about how pointless they are. Here's me doing that:

Best Picture - Since the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences' science division upgraded their computers to handle ten nominees, now anything short of that number is a little smack in the face to any and all heavy dramas that aren't nominated. This year, with only eight nominees, Carol is no doubt smarting a bit. On the other hand, what a delightful surprise that Mad Max: Fury Road rightfully got its nomination despite its being super awesome instead of weighty.

Best White Actor
- Yeah, those are probably the best white performances of the year.

Best White Actress - After the Golden Globes, Brie Larson may now be the favorite, but with Cate Blanchett and Jennifer Lawrence among the nominees, don't be surprised if you see a different wan face up on stage.

Best White Supporting Actor
- With Idris Elba's powerful Beasts of No Nation performance of course ineligible, this is Sylvester Stallone's to lose to another white male.

Best White Supporting Actress - This is one category where there's room for a big surprise outside of ethnicity.

Best Director - For what he pulled off--and at 70!--with Mad Max: Fury Road, George Miller definitely deserves to be in this list. But the omitted Ridley Scott must really be thinking, "But I'm ALSO pulling off surprisingly strong work and am very old!"

Best Adapted and Best Original Screenplay
- Somehow, Quentin Tarantino AND Aaron Sorkin failed to draw nominations in their respective writing categories. What a startling blow to heavily over-written dialogue. Also, if you're going to have an animated film in here, make it Anomalisa, not Inside Out, but that's just me.

Best Animated Feature - GKIDS releases When Marnie Was There and Boy and the World managed to take the spots The Peanuts Movie and Pixar's The Good Dinosaur were already warming for their CGI moppets. Nice try, ruddy-faced, too-palpable Charlie Brown.

Best Documentary - Oh, Alex Gibney's intriguing, widely-seen Scientology exposé Going Clear didn't get a nomination? I'm being told this is completely fine, and go see Jack Reacher: Never Go Back, in theaters October 21!

Best Original Song - No "Mourn Paul Walker: The Song"? Vin Diesel is going to have something to say on Facebook about this...

Also: other things you can elucidate in the comments as you see fit.

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