Here's Everything ABC Is Hoping You'll Start Watching Next Season

May 18, 2016

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The number of talking dog comedies is greater than zero.

Designated Survivor - As explained in the trailer, "During the State of the Union, one cabinet member is taken to an undisclosed location. In the event of a catastrophic attack on our government, that cabinet member becomes our new president." Well, you're not going to believe this, but that happens, and now the unqualified, unelected Kiefer Sutherland is the President of the United States. Don't worry: they put him in glasses so you won't just keep thinking he's Jack Bauer.


Downward Dog - Holy shit, it's an even more toothless Garfield as a series, but with a dog instead of a cat. It feels like watching your aunt's email forwards as a romantic-comedy.


Imaginary Mary - It's essentially a Jenna Elfman fear-of-commitment rom-com you'd figure we'd have made in the early '00s, but now as a sitcom and with a twist: she also has a freaky little imaginary friend that looks like it belongs in a pharmaceutical commercial.


Conviction - CBS may have canceled Bad Teacher, but that's not going to stop ABC from trying that again as a melodramatic law procedural. Agent Carter stars.


Notorious - "SHE'S THE BEST NEWS PRODUCER ON TV... HE'S AN INFAMOUS LAWYER. THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS... WHO DON'T PLAY BY THE RULES. TOGETHER THEY'LL DO ANYTHING... TO WIN HER RATINGS... AND TO WIN HIS CASES." Is ABC just using a computer to make their sexy primetime dramas now?


Time After Time - Just like the 1979 film of the same name, it's about H. G. Wells traveling to modern times to catch an on-the-run Jack the Ripper. Sure; why not?


Still Star-Crossed - It's a sequel to Romeo & Juliet, about the continued conflict between the Capulets and Montague. Now with race war overtones!


Speechless - So, so very much an ABC FAMILY COMEDY. This time, Minnie Driver is the matriarch and one of the kids has special needs and is unable to speak, thus giving us a better title than "More The Middle but with slightly different characters."


American Housewife - Another ABC FAMILY COMEDY about a mother making sacrifices for particularly one of her children, but this one also functions as a season-long diatribe against fit, wealthy moms. Nearly worth watching just to see how long a show can breathlessly keep an anti-vegetable juice screed going.

Read More: abc, television, trailer
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