Let's Play the 'Assassin's Creed' Trailer with Michael Fassbender

May 12, 2016


Well, here's the trailer for Assassin's Creed, MacBeth director Justin Kurzel's adaptation of the video game of the same name.

The film stars Michael Fassbender, perfectly cast in the role of "generically handsome enough, stubbly, brown-haired man that is almost every big-budget video game's protagonist." He's also an assassin... sort of.

See, true to its namesake, Assassin's Creed is a simple enough story weighed down by the excess of a heavy framing device. It is the offensively gluttonous Pizza Hut Hot Dog-Stuffed Crust Pizza of video game plots.

At its cheesy but broadly enjoyable-enough center, there's a simple story about a hooded assassin who sneaks around doing parkour and murdering guys with his cool wrist-blades. But bite into its needlessly convoluted crust and it's about a guy in the present getting plugged into a device that lets him re-live "ancestral memories," somehow revealing the location of artifacts that have something to do with an ongoing war between two ancient, secret societies.

The story also involves this guy frequently jumping into piles of hay. It's a layered plot, to say the least.

Anyway, the trailer looks beautifully-shot and quite faithful to its source, but it raises the question how this is going to turn out much different than Prince of Persia--though now with Jeremy Irons replacing Ben Kingsley in the role of "frequently slumming-it but still horribly dignified old Brit." Marion Cotillard co-stars. Have a peek:

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