February 28, 2006
Through the sheer power of the human spirit, I hoped I could will away the Larry the Cable Guy movie. But since it's still coming out, you should check out the trailer. It's full of all of the inane bullshit you'd expect, plus Buster from Arrested Development, Biff from Back to the Future, and a rabbi for whatever reason. Despite all of its obvious shortcomings, what bothers me most is that the title tells us that Larry has two professions. I refuse to think of him as such a jack-of-all-trades. At least when he's just installing cable I know how to avoid him.
Over at Cineactual, someone's played with the newly released image of Spider-Man, coloring in some parts of the eye-piece to reveal something sort of like the mask of Green Goblin. Of course if this reflection is accurate, it would mean the villain was located in Spider-Man's crotch.
It seems to me that this might be reading too much into the image. You can see a lot of things if you look hard enough at any vague shapes, especially if you color them, but it doesn't mean anyone believes they're real. Unless you're on LSD, in which case you will insist they're real, even after all your friends tell you that it doesn't make sense that the Devil would fly down from a cloud, disguised as a gentleman kitten, trying to whip you with a rainbow.
An informant for The Arnold Fans tells the website that if Schwarzenegger does not serve a second term at governor, Warner Brothers wants him for another Conan sequel:
I can't say much but Jeff Robinov is definitely hoping that Arnold looses[sic] the race for a 2nd term as governor so he can make his place back into feature films with KING CONAN. The film might not even be called KING CONAN anymore and instead go back to CONAN THE CONQUEROR. The title KING CONAN sounds like a finale and that's not what Warner Bros. wants.
If Arnold looses the next term, the WB wants the new Conan epic shooting on a grueling gorilla schedule around the clock starting March 2007 for a December 2007 release date.
Besides this film, another good reason for Arnold to not win a second term is that it's completely absurd that Arnold Schwarzenegger is leading a portion of our country. I realize this is a little after-the-fact, but seriously, how did this happen? Didn't anyone see Pumping Iron? Unless an army of cyborgs from the future are attacking, I'm really not sure he's qualified for any of this. But if an army of sentient learning computers ever do attack, thank God he's on our side.
First I thought the X-Men: The Last Stand makeup and costumes looked a little questionable. Now, I just kind of feel bad. It looks like someone's mom made this, then wanted a quick picture in the living room before he goes out trick-or-treating. I hope you get some king sizes, bud.
Variety reports that Vince Vaughn is in talks to star in David Dobkin's Fred Claus, a holiday comedy about Santa's loser brother returning to the North Pole to redeem himself.
While negotiations are just beginning, deal should see Vaughn cement his status as a comedy-carrying star by reaching the $20 million salary mark for the first time. Dan Fogelman wrote the script and Dobkin is producing with Jessie Nelson.
Vaughn should be funny in the role, but if they wanted a loser brother they should have just gone with Daniel Baldwin. Then they could cast Alec Baldwin as Santa and you'd get the real intensity of the black sheep trying to live up to his brother's work. The only problem would be that the shooting schedule might cost Daniel his assistant manager position at Sam's Club.
Catherine Keener, making an appearance on Thursday's The Charlie Rose Show, mentioned she will be playing the mother in Spike Jonze's adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are, while Jim Henson's Creature Shop will be doing the monster puppets:
I'm getting ready to work with him again. He's doing Where the Wild Things Are. He's doing it in New Zealand. I'm playing the mom looking for Max. Then there will be six actors or so performing the roles of the monsters, the wild things. And then Henson's company is making puppets.
While Keener's involvement is interesting, I think the best news is the confirmation that Henson will do the puppets. If they can do work anywhere near as impressive as they did on The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, we're in for a treat. There's just something about puppets that's so much more tangible than computer generated creatures. It's like you could just wait until they're asleep and slip into their little puppet beds and give them little puppet kisses all ove--Ut oh! The puppet police!