February 15, 2006

New Silent Hill Stills


New stills from Silent Hill have emerged online, including this horrifying image of a woman with some kind of metal pyramid head, wearing a dress made of a patchwork of flesh, hauling off with a bloody child. It's funny how something you didn't know existed one minute can the next minute be the very reason you're buying a gun.

UPDATE: I'm told this character is actually a male named Pyramid Head, who rapes other monsters in the video game. The horrifying part is still accurate, though.


Previous Entries

Captain America Coming to Film

capamer.jpgIn a recent interview, Avi Arad has dropped some cryptic clues about the future of a Captain America film. The movie will focus on the changes that have taken place over the last 60 years, questioning which world was better, the past or today. There are currently no directors or stars attached, though he does have some in mind for the possible 2009 release. Arad said very little about the costume, but promised it will keep at least one familiar aspect:

The shield is a symbol. There will always be a shield. Now, I'll leave it to your imagination to figure out what one can do with a shield.

I thought about that for a while--what one could do with a shield--and I'm sorry to say I couldn't think of anything that Sluts With Shields: Vol. IV didn't already cover. It's practically the bible of shield sex.


Goldblum Seeing Red

goldblumred.jpgJeff Goldblum is set to take on the lead role in a new pilot being made at NBC titled Seeing Red:

"Red," from NBC Universal TV Studio, will be directed by Oscar-nominated Frank Darabont from a script by Graham Yost. It centers on an eccentric, brilliant cop (Goldblum) with the ability to talk to dead victims, who help him solve his cases.

After considering this premise, I think I've come up with the format of what will become the obligatory scene in every episode.

Scene: Morgue

Cop: Jeff Goldblum, did I just hear you talking to a corpse?

JG: Uh...no, that's silly. I was just talking on my cell phone.

Cop: Then why isn't your phone out?

JG: Ut oh!

Jeff Goldblum makes a sympathetic shrug to the camera, turns into a fly.


Leo Puts on Teddy

leoroosevelt.jpgFirst it was Howard Hughes, now it's Theodore Roosevelt. An informant, whose mother works as a curator for the Theodore Roosevelt birthplace, claims Martin Scorsese will be directing a film titled The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt, with Leonardo DiCaprio taking on the title role.

As good an actor as DiCaprio may be, he seems an odd choice for the role. Martin Scorsese just seems to have a love affair with this guy. I have the feeling that, given enough time, Scorsese would cast DiCaprio as literally every person in history. A hairy, Cro-Magnon Leo will create fire, then beat a more primitive, less evolved Leo with a bone. Pharaoh Leo will whip slave Leo, screaming for him to built pyramids, then free the Hebrew Leos at the urging of Moses Leo. Eli Whitney Leo invents the cotton gin, Hitler Leo runs rampant through Europe, and Harry S. Truman Leo, desperate to end the war, bombs Japan, killing many Japanese Leos. Einstein Leo regrets his contributions to the program. You get the idea. Everyone is played by DiCaprio. Except Robert DeNiro, who plays himself.


The Break-Up Trailer


Ah, Moviefone. What you lack in spelling correctness you more than make up for in trailer exclusives. Go watch the trailer for The Break-Up there, starring Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. It's Aniston's "Oh no you didn't" to Brad Pitt's Mr. and Mrs. Smith, "Yeah, I did that." Except this comes after that, so maybe it's more of a, "Yeah, I did that too, but not with one of the most beautiful people in the world. It's just Vince Vaughn. He's kind of tall."


Murphy is a Starship

murphystarship.jpgEddie Murphy has signed on to star in Peter Segal's Starship Dave. The story involves a group of small aliens looking to save their doomed planet, leading to their use of Dave (Murphy) as a starship. I'm quite excited for Eddie Murphy's return to the genre he first nailed with Adventures of Pluto Nash: science fiction for incredibly stoned college kids.