April 27, 2006
Speaking on the future of Marvel Studios, chief executive Avi Arad revealed that the villain for the sequel to The Hulk will be the big, green, Yugoslavian counterpart to the transforming hero, the Abomination.
"Our Hulk," Arad says, "will be a diet Hulk. Lighter. Focusing on the love story, Hulk as hero, and his battle with the villain." For that villain, Arad has chosen one of his favorite baddies: Abomination, a former Yugoslav spy who has mutated into a 980-pound freak of terrifying strength and unpleasant demeanor.
Using another green, gamma-radiated behemoth as the villain to the Hulk seems like a good idea to me. The two nearly evenly balanced creatures should make for an intense on-screen encounter. It's the same concept that makes lesbian pornography--again, two perfectly matched specimens engaged with each other--so much better than other pornography genres: no penises.
The French get it all-- the Eiffel Tower, American animosity, and now a new trailer for Sofia Coppola's Maria-Antoinette. As confident as I am in the director's work, I'm still not sure about this semi-updated take on a period piece. I'd say it's innovative for mixing 80's music with costume pageantry, but Boy George has been doing it for years. Plus, he dribbles paint on his head.
The real surprise of the trailer is how good Kirsten Dunst's bare ass looks. I guess I was using her teeth as a standard.
If you can't wait for Wes Anderson's next film, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, or if you're in the market for a new credit card, take a gander at the director's commercial for American Express. It has his typical stylized look and quirky humor, so it's basically like getting a free movie, much in the same way that my gawking at employees of the cosmetics department of JC Penney is like having an actual relationship. Sure, it's shorter, and they're trying to sell you something, but it's better than nothing, right? And they're certainly better looking than the gals down at Kohl's.
After it was announced that Mission: Impossible 3 director J.J. Abrams would breathe new life into the Star Trek franchise by taking over the 11th film, rumors flew that the picture would tell the story of Kirk and Spock's early years. Speaking with Empire, however, Abrams now says the rumors are unfounded:
The whole thing was reported entirely without our cooperation. People learned that I was producing a Star Trek film, that I had an option to direct it, they hear rumours of what the thing was going to be and ran with a story that is not entirely accurate.
So if you heard a crash this morning, don't worry. It was just a nerd's dreams shattering.
I can't promise you'll ever get laid again, but I can assure you the Dead or Alive movie will be the next best thing. There are some new shots up that show that legitimate storylines and Dead or Alive won't mix, though wet t-shirts and Dead or Alive are like peanut butter and jelly. And about the never getting laid thing-- maybe you should stop collecting action figures.
More under the cut.
What do you get when you shove six beautiful women together in a small, tight space? An erection! Or the terrifying, claustrophobic, British horror-thriller The Descent. Whichever applies more to you. The trailer to the latter is now online here.