April 06, 2006

X-Men: The Last Stand Television Spots

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The handsome Latinos at Latino Review have scored the three new television spots for X-Men 3, for those who forgot to tape American Idol, House M.D. and ESPN (in general). After watching all three, I've created what I believe will be the definitive plot summary of the third film:

Magneto goes to the woods.
A bridge falls.
Angel shows off how he has wings.
The X-Men stand in a row.
Juggernaut runs through a wall.
Some mutants make out.
Something explodes while Wolverine smokes.

I'm wondering how many times they're going to show that shot of Wolverine smoking with the explosion behind him. Probably until I stop reacting with, "Motherfucker! Did everyone see that sweet explosion? That shit was blowing up! And Wolverine was still all cool-like, just chillin' with a cigar! He knows what's up. That shit is tiiiiiiight." Then I make sound effects of explosions and his claws coming out for the rest of the night.

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Previous Entries

Pan's Labyrinth Stills

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Dark Horizons has posted some new shots from Guillermo Del Toro's horror flick, Pan's Labyrinth, and it still looks creepy as hell. Except for this guy with the horns, who seems kind of apologetic. While the freak with the eyes on his hands is freaking people out, this guy's busy trying to make amends. "Hey, I'm sorry about my friend, guys. He gets this way when he drinks. And by 'this way,' I mean this way."

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Charlotte's Web Teaser Trailer

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A teaser trailer has been released for the big screen adaptation of the classic E.B. White children's book Charlotte's Web. Since it's just a teaser, not a lot is revealed, but you do get a look at the starring animals and the famous voices lent to them, including Julia Roberts, Robert Redford, and my darling Oprah. Sadly, missing from the trailer was my personal favorite talking animal, Kirstie Alley.

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Silent Hill Character Shots

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Though I admittedly know fairly little about the source material, I've become completely obsessed with seeing what disgusting freaks they're going to bring out for the Silent Hill movie. Now, on the official site, they've posted shots of several characters I hadn't yet seen in stills, such as "The Nurses" and "The Janitor."

In addition to the stills, Sony has also converted the images into wallpapers and printable iPod skins. While I think it's nice of them to offer up these extras, couldn't they have put some more thought into the iPod skins? Look at the "Red Pyramid" one. Once the sections have been cut out for the iPod screen and scroll wheel, you're just left with the image of an arm and part of a torso. The "Dahlia" skin is just some clumpy hair. It's probably better that way, though, so when someone wants to beat you up for having some nerdy Silent Hill iPod skin, you can pretend it's a picture of Bob Marley instead. If they ask which picture, say it's the one where he's smoking a joint.

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Video Diary for "Hot Stuff" May Be Confused for "Hot Fuzz"

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UPDATE: It turns out I don't pay attention a lot of the time, so the reason this video blog was irrelevant to Hot Fuzz was because it's for Hot Stuff. Whoops! This is that kind of lesson that teaches me to "read full titles," like the lessons that teach me to "check for appropriate genitalia." Still, that's some Hot Stuff, eh?

You can get the actual third Hot Fuzz video HERE. Seriously, I don't know how I mixed up the links.

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See Some Clips from Brick

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Focus Features has put up some clips from Rian Johnson's Brick online, starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Lukas Haas, and a kid who's seen Everything is Iluminated too many times. I've heard nothing but good talk about this film, usually hearing that it's a well-done update of the old film noirs, but I'll continue to refer to it as looking, "like those stories Snoopy typed," because I only understand movies in relation to Peanuts cartoons.

Clip 1
Clip 2
Clip 3
Clip 4

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